Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Mistress of Entropy Encounters Big Government

We residents of the Empire State love big government because it is so sexy, so powerful and masterful.Okay, I'll be good.

It happened that I was summoned by both the I.R.S. and the State of New York during the same week. I hastened to don my newest breastplate, harem pants, boots, and carry the Sword of Truth in order to be properly able to defend my reputation as a good citizen.

The I.R.S. was concerned because I did not report any income as a mistress on my tax return. Furthermore, Mr. Entropy did not send in any withholding tax. I patiently explained that I am a divorce√©, and that entropy is a physical term, a measure of energy that was not available to do work. I furthermore said that, with time, I would react the Nirvana of maximum entropy. I don't like to do work.

The taxman nevertheless persisted: "I know many people who work for the government, and they do not do work! You must be highly unsuccessful in the mistress profession." Finally, he let me off with a moderate fine.

Next was the State of New York. The Judge scolded me for not being properly licensed, buy let me off with probation and a stipulation that I receive professional apprenticeship as a mistress.  After all: the state now has occupational standards for that profession. This was the result of some former Governor getting burned by one not properly trained.

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