Well, it's an interesting set of stories for this week. Who can not say that we live in interesting times.
The Pope, having resigned, is having his last day. Will he leave with a box of his stuff and the office stapler?
Anne Hathaway's perky nipples accomplished their objective with a slew of commentary. Look for more of the braless look next year.
Sequestration is imminent as Congress lives on the edge.
Jack Lew is now Secretaty of the Treasury. His first task is to develop a legible signature.
Bob Woodward is trying to be back in the news again. Bob, you had your fifteen minutes.
A Vermont woman received a face transplant.
Hot air ballooning in Egypt found to be unsafe. Who would have known>
They're playing basketball now for any excuse.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
A Little Craziness in Key West
While I was down in Key West with my girls, I went on the philosophy that "What happens in Key West stays in Key West. In other words, I could be as little more relaxed than I could back in Geneseo. Anyway, we were lounging poolside at the hotel. It was one of those places where we had to get out by 10 AM to snag enough decent lounge chairs.
In honor of this trip, I got the skimpiest string bikini possible. My girls commented on it; one said, Mommy, you're showing your boobs! [Where did she learn such words?]
Anyway, I got up to hop in the pool when the strings to my bathing suit top got caught in the plastic straps of the chair. My daughters started pointing and laughing at me as I tried to cover up and put my top back on
I then observed that I got a lot of strangers looking on and applauding.
In a moment of craziness, I pulled my top off for a second to acknowledge their attention.
We went back to Geneseo and my normal, stable life.
In honor of this trip, I got the skimpiest string bikini possible. My girls commented on it; one said, Mommy, you're showing your boobs! [Where did she learn such words?]
Anyway, I got up to hop in the pool when the strings to my bathing suit top got caught in the plastic straps of the chair. My daughters started pointing and laughing at me as I tried to cover up and put my top back on
I then observed that I got a lot of strangers looking on and applauding.
In a moment of craziness, I pulled my top off for a second to acknowledge their attention.
We went back to Geneseo and my normal, stable life.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Biased Passenger
On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.
"What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant.
"Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"
"Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class".
The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin.
"Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class".
Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next such an obnoxious person."
With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..."
"What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant.
"Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"
"Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class".
The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin.
"Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class".
Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next such an obnoxious person."
With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..."
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
I Answered My Questions Last Night
I though about it. Partly, I'm tired of the neverending news cycle about the election.
I've been reticent for too long. I actually went out and met a guy.
And went to his place.
I needed that.
Do I rate a scarlet letter?
I've been reticent for too long. I actually went out and met a guy.
And went to his place.
I needed that.
Do I rate a scarlet letter?
Friday, October 19, 2012
When Is It No Longer Too Soon?
When is it no longer too soon after a divorce to try to pick up my life?
When is it acceptable to date someone?
When is it acceptable to be satisfied carnally by a man?
When is it acceptable to date someone?
When is it acceptable to be satisfied carnally by a man?
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
The Mistress of Entropy Encounters Big Government
We residents of the Empire State love big government because it is so sexy, so powerful and masterful.Okay, I'll be good.
It happened that I was summoned by both the I.R.S. and the State of New York during the same week. I hastened to don my newest breastplate, harem pants, boots, and carry the Sword of Truth in order to be properly able to defend my reputation as a good citizen.
The I.R.S. was concerned because I did not report any income as a mistress on my tax return. Furthermore, Mr. Entropy did not send in any withholding tax. I patiently explained that I am a divorceé, and that entropy is a physical term, a measure of energy that was not available to do work. I furthermore said that, with time, I would react the Nirvana of maximum entropy. I don't like to do work.
The taxman nevertheless persisted: "I know many people who work for the government, and they do not do work! You must be highly unsuccessful in the mistress profession." Finally, he let me off with a moderate fine.
Next was the State of New York. The Judge scolded me for not being properly licensed, buy let me off with probation and a stipulation that I receive professional apprenticeship as a mistress. After all: the state now has occupational standards for that profession. This was the result of some former Governor getting burned by one not properly trained.
It happened that I was summoned by both the I.R.S. and the State of New York during the same week. I hastened to don my newest breastplate, harem pants, boots, and carry the Sword of Truth in order to be properly able to defend my reputation as a good citizen.
The I.R.S. was concerned because I did not report any income as a mistress on my tax return. Furthermore, Mr. Entropy did not send in any withholding tax. I patiently explained that I am a divorceé, and that entropy is a physical term, a measure of energy that was not available to do work. I furthermore said that, with time, I would react the Nirvana of maximum entropy. I don't like to do work.
The taxman nevertheless persisted: "I know many people who work for the government, and they do not do work! You must be highly unsuccessful in the mistress profession." Finally, he let me off with a moderate fine.
Next was the State of New York. The Judge scolded me for not being properly licensed, buy let me off with probation and a stipulation that I receive professional apprenticeship as a mistress. After all: the state now has occupational standards for that profession. This was the result of some former Governor getting burned by one not properly trained.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
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