A Benefit of Being Unemployed

Football, Again!

Well, it's been months since college football wound up; and it's time for Meredith's Predictions.

I see Alabama and Tennessee playing for the SEC Championship.

But, wait! The Old Miss Rebels are their nemesis, and the game is played in Oxford! The SEC West isn't a foregone conclusion.

Also, Tennessee seems to not do vert well against Florida.

So who will meet for the Championship in Atlanta? God only knows.

Full-Figured Tennessee Bikini Girl on Skis

While passsing through Cookeville, Tenn., I spotted this Tennessee Bikini Girl by a car wash.  Otherwise, I-40 is rather dull until I got to the Virginia state line. Tennessee Tech University is nearby:

How About Those Rebels?

Ole Miss 23, Alabama 17!


Good times have returned, at long last!

Embarrassment at the Gym

I was working out at a local gym not too long ago, and I noticed a thirtyish young man who couldn't have been older than myself doing a certain exercise that women normally do, meaning men don't usually think to do this particular exercise. I don't want to get too specific with this because you never know when this person might come across this conversation online.


Anyway, I noticed that his form was pretty out of whack. There was no one else in the gym at the time, and I didn't want to see him hurt himself while I was there. I went over to him and asked him if he wanted a tip or two on how to get the best out of this particular exercise.  He said sure. I showed him the proper form for the exercise and then explained it as I was demonstrating it. I didn't think anything of it at the time, I was just offering a fitness tip to a fellow gym member.

As this gentleman was leaving, he said "thanks, I'm usually in here about the same time everyday." Then he smiled at me with this weird seductive smile.  Now, I don't have a judgmental bone in my body, but that doesn't mean that I don't know when a smile is more than a smile. From the way he said it and the way he smiled at me, it was blatantly obvious that he was coming onto me.

It left me with an uncomfortable feeling, and as he walked out the door, it hit me what had just transpired. I was embarrassed that this young man's.. situation... hadn't been obvious to me before then. It wouldn't have kept me from giving him a tip on form, but it would have at least prepared me for what he said and how he said it as he was leaving the gym. 

A Kiss

I knew that I was making the right choice by kissing him. It was utterly spontaneous; I just felt like kissing this handsome man who was in the bar at the same time I was.


No strings.  No follow-up.


Just a spontaneous moment of passion.


Guys, when this happens, it's best to be agreeably surprised.  Sometimes a thirtyish woman wants to Carpe Diem.


No, I didn't mind when you cupped my breasts.


But it's best to end while we're ahead.


No regrets.


No waking up next to a strange person the next day and wondering whether a pregnancy happened.

Professor of Plumbing

One professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home broke down. He called a plumber. The plumber came on the next day, sealed a few screws and everything was working as before.

The professor was delighted. However, when the plumber gave him the bill a minute later, he was shocked.

“This is one third of my monthly salary!” he yelled.

Well, all the same he paid it and then the plumber said to him:

“I understand your position as a professor. Why don’t you come to our company and apply for a plumber position? You will earn three times as much as a professor. But remember, when you apply, tell them that you completed only seven elementary classes. They don’t like educated people.”

So it happened. The professor got a plumber job and his life significantly improved. He just had to seal a screw or two occasionally, and his salary went up significantly.

One day, the board of the plumbing company decided that every plumber has to go to evening classes to complete the eight grade. So, our professor had to go there too. It just happened that the first class was math. The evening teacher, to check students’ knowledge, asked for a formula for the area of the circle. The person asked was the professor. He jumped to the board, and then he realized that he had forgotten the formula. He started to reason it, he filled the white board with integrals, differentials and other advanced formulas to conclude the result he forgot. As a result he got “minus pi r squared”.

He didn’t like the minus, so he started all over again. He got the minus again. No matter how many times he tried, he always got a minus. He was frustrated. He looked a bit scared at the class and saw all the plumbers whisper:

“Switch the limits of the integral!!”

Shame and Scandal

Here's The Pepper Pots doing their rendition of "Shame and Scandal":

Do Wah Diddy Diddy

Here's the Dutch group, the Dolly Dots, singing "Do Wah Diddy Diddy:"

Pet Ownership and Red/Blue State Status

Top/Bottom Dog-Owning States

The AVMA Sourcebook reveals that the states with the most dog owners in 2011 were: Arkansas where 47.9 percent of households owned a dog, New Mexico with 46 percent, Kentucky with 45.9 percent, Missouri with 45.9 percent, West Virginia with 45.8 percent, Mississippi with 45.2 percent, Alabama with 44.1 percent, Tennessee with 44.1 percent, Texas with 44 percent, and Oklahoma with 43.2 percent.

The bottom 10 states in 2011 for dog ownership are: Illinois where 32.4 percent of households owned a dog, New Jersey with 32.4 percent, Minnesota with 31.9 percent, Maryland with 30.8 percent, New Hampshire with 30.3 percent, Utah with 29.4 percent, Rhode Island with 29.3 percent, New York with 29 percent, Connecticut with 28.3 percent, and Massachusetts with 23.6 percent. The District of Columbia had far lower dog ownership than any state with 13.1 percent.

Top/Bottom Cat-Owning States

The 2011 top 10 states with the most cat-owning households are: Vermont where 49.5 percent owned a cat, Maine with 46.4 percent, Oregon with 40.2 percent, South Dakota with 39.1 percent, Washington with 39 percent, West Virginia with 38.1 percent, Kentucky with 36.8 percent, Idaho with 34.6 percent, Indiana with 34.4 percent, and New Hampshire with 34.2 percent.

Conversely, the bottom 10 states with the lowest rate of cat-owning households in 2011 are: California where 28.3 percent of households owned a cat, South Carolina with 27.8 percent, Rhode Island with 27.6 percent, Alabama with 27.4 percent, Florida with 27.3 percent, Georgia with 27.3 percent, Illinois with 26.3 percent, Louisiana with 25.9 percent, New Jersey with 25.3 percent, and Utah with 24.6 percent. The District of Columbia, once again, had by far the lowest rate of cat ownership with 11.6 percent.

Erotic Passage

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room.

Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.

He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax."

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily.

My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care.
His touch was so experienced, so sure.

When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes.

My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.

And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.

Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought.  A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer.

A man who would tell me what he wanted.

A man who would look into my soul and say . . . .

"Okay ma'am, you can board your flight now."

Currently in the News, 2/28/13

Well, it's an interesting set of stories for this week.  Who can not say that we live in interesting times.

The Pope, having resigned, is having his last day.  Will he leave with a box of his stuff and the office stapler?

Anne Hathaway's perky nipples accomplished their objective with a slew of commentary.  Look for more of the braless look next year.

Sequestration is imminent as Congress lives on the edge.

Jack Lew is now Secretaty of the Treasury.  His first task is to develop a legible signature.

Bob Woodward is trying to be back in the news again.  Bob, you had your fifteen minutes.

A Vermont woman received a face transplant.

Hot air ballooning in Egypt found to be unsafe.  Who would have known>

They're playing basketball now for any excuse.

A Little Craziness in Key West

While I was down in Key West with my girls, I went on the philosophy that "What happens in Key West stays in Key West.  In other words, I could be as little more relaxed than I could back in Geneseo.  Anyway, we were lounging poolside at the hotel.  It was one of those places where we had to get out by 10 AM to snag enough decent lounge chairs.

In honor of this trip, I got the skimpiest string bikini possible.  My girls commented on it; one said, Mommy, you're showing your boobs!  [Where did she learn such words?]

Anyway, I got up to hop in the pool when the strings to my bathing suit top got caught in the plastic straps of the chair.  My daughters started pointing and laughing at me as I tried to cover up and put my top back on

I then observed that I got a lot of strangers looking on and applauding.

In a moment of craziness, I pulled my top off for a second to acknowledge their attention.

We went back to Geneseo and my normal, stable life.

Biased Passenger

On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.

"What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant.

"Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"

"Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class".

The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin.

"Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class".

Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next such an obnoxious person."

With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..."

I Answered My Questions Last Night

I though about it.  Partly, I'm tired of the neverending news cycle about the election.

I've been reticent for too long.  I actually went out and met a guy.

And went to his place.

I needed that.

Do I rate a scarlet letter?

When Is It No Longer Too Soon?

When is it no longer too soon after a divorce to try to pick up my life?

When is it acceptable to date someone?

When is it acceptable to be satisfied carnally by a man?

The Mistress of Entropy Encounters Big Government

We residents of the Empire State love big government because it is so sexy, so powerful and masterful.Okay, I'll be good.

It happened that I was summoned by both the I.R.S. and the State of New York during the same week. I hastened to don my newest breastplate, harem pants, boots, and carry the Sword of Truth in order to be properly able to defend my reputation as a good citizen.

The I.R.S. was concerned because I did not report any income as a mistress on my tax return. Furthermore, Mr. Entropy did not send in any withholding tax. I patiently explained that I am a divorceé, and that entropy is a physical term, a measure of energy that was not available to do work. I furthermore said that, with time, I would react the Nirvana of maximum entropy. I don't like to do work.

The taxman nevertheless persisted: "I know many people who work for the government, and they do not do work! You must be highly unsuccessful in the mistress profession." Finally, he let me off with a moderate fine.

Next was the State of New York. The Judge scolded me for not being properly licensed, buy let me off with probation and a stipulation that I receive professional apprenticeship as a mistress.  After all: the state now has occupational standards for that profession. This was the result of some former Governor getting burned by one not properly trained.

Hoping That This Is the Year of the Rebels!

Go Ole Miss!  Kick some fannies!!!

 

 

A Little About Myself

A little about myself. 

Early thirties.
Divorced.  He left me.
It's been almost a year.
No bitterness, just relief.
I promise not to trash my ex in this blog.
No immediate plans for dating in future.
Two daughters, whom I adore.
Secretary for a realty company.
Southern.
Miss the South and my parents.
Went to Ole Miss.
Drive a Camry.
Love to read, especially romances and crime fiction.
Watch television mostly with the girls.